Schiffman is explaining something he calls the "Third Dimension" of yoga - one where you've recognized the truth within, and are ready to seek it out in others. Since you've recognized the truth within yourself, seeing the truth in others allows you to see bits of yourself in them, reinforcing the yogic idea that we are all part of the same energy/fiber/fabric/existence. He concludes with several "exercises designed to actualize all of this". One of them is this concept of Eye Contact During the Day.
Basically, Schiffman is recommending you to make eye contact with others, his words: "Practice looking in the eyes of others...be interested in 'going in there' and seeing them." Hmmmm....how exactly is this accomplished without freaking people out? Especially when he commands: "Let them see you seeing them". This was the line that got me. I mean, to close friends and acquaintances, I suppose I would be able to explain that I'm practicing this "gazing" mediation, and they might understand. Most might wonder if I was experimenting with Jedi Mind Tricks, and promptly bump me down a few notches on the scale of "people you want to spend more time with". As I run out of friends to do this with, I'll have to move down the line to acquaintances... Now, acquaintances don't really know much more about me than my name and perhaps some mutual interests, but they probably won't want to know ANY more about me once they see me going "back and forth (from eye to eye) until you find them and then beam in on them"!
What is it about eye contact that makes people uneasy? Is it the fact that our eyes are like windows into our soul; a place where you cannot hide your true emotions, try as you might? I'm willing to go out on a short limb here and say yes. How many times have you said hi to someone, and their mouth smiles back, says hi, but their eyes do not? (I'm not talking about Botox, here) Why are we so afraid of letting people see how we really feel? I think this is what the passage in the book is getting at - being honest with yourself allows you to be honest with others, and in turn, prepare you to receive honesty from them.
Making eye contact for the sake of honesty does seem important...but not to the point of being invasive. I'll admit that I have quite a few insecurities, but I am working hard to free myself from them. I am finding that it is not that easy. I'm starting with being more friendly - and this is proving to be a challenge, especially when people I am trying to be friendly with aren't being friendly in return. This generates more insecurities in me (why didn't that person say hi back to me? why aren't people including me? am I not fun to be around? am I annoying? maybe I'm un-cool. did I say something stupid or offensive?) I've gotta get over it. There are a million reasons why people aren't friendly - maybe they're shy, maybe they are distracted, maybe they have no social skills, or they're just rude. It's not up to me to figure out why. I have to surrender the insecurities and just be "ME". Without using Jedi Mind Tricks on people, so don't worry. I plan to give this eye contact thing a try, but not to the point where I'm invading people's emotions or seeing things that they don't want me to see. Just a brief gaze into those windows will send a loud enough message that I care about what someone is saying to me, and I value the time spent interacting together. No staring or "beaming in" necessary.
You're being in the same world together, acknowledging one another's existence. - E. Schiffman, 1996
No comments:
Post a Comment