In search of Contentment

Hello, dear readers!  I have been quite a bit busy lately...that's what working, having kids, and living a life does to you.  I have not forgotten about my blog, merely set it aside for a while.  I thought about blogging quite a bit - I've had many experiences over the last 3 months where I've said "Oh, this is a great topic for my blog!", but finding the time to sit down and compose an entry, add pictures and links to make it interesting, and telling people about it is the challenge.  Anyway, it's been busy around here in YATS-landia and I feel like I've been running 90 miles an hour with no relief in sight.  When I think one task or commitment is finished, there's another one waiting in the wings, ready to swoop in and ensure that my life isn't slowing down.  I welcome summer more than ever this year.  It will give me time to get back to my yoga practice, dive into my yoga reading list (I hope to have some good book reviews!), and most importantly, back to blogging!

I have been contemplating a big step in my yoga practice, and to ready myself, I have been skimming through lots of different material.  Lately, one theme has been coming to the forefront of my mind, probably because things seem more stressful than ever, and I'm looking for ways to slow down, enjoy life, be grateful for what life I have created, and honor the best intentions.  One of Patanjali's yamas (restraint) comes close to defining this:  Asteya - which translates to "non stealing"; however, this goes far beyond the literal translation, which reminds one of God's commandments to Moses "Thou shalt not steal."  Asteya means not coveting, not hoarding, not getting in the way of others' happiness.  Patanjali's second niyama (observance) seems more appropriate:  Santosha.

Santosha is the sanskrit word you see above, which translates to "contentment and satisfaction" - more as a theme for living your life, rather than a temporary state of being.  I can eat an amazing meal and feel contentment and satisfaction, but not experience Santosha.  It is a state of mind - one that goes deep - and one that is oftentimes hard to observe.  This is why yoga is a "practice" - one that never ends.

Santosha is about living in the present - not daydreaming of the future or wishing for what you don't have. It is not necessarily about not having goals, but it means accepting things as they come to you, good or bad, and being genuinely happy for others when good things happen to them.  For me, this has always been very, very hard.  I'm the oldest of 4 children, and my parents didn't have the means to give us all of the things that our friends had - or all of the things we wanted.  I remedied this by getting a job, babysitting, and working my butt off so that I could buy the things that kept me in pace with my friends - but in the early '90s, I wasn't always satisfied - plus, all that working meant I missed out on a lot of going out.  Bottom line:  I had a BAD case of "keeping up with the Joneses".

It hasn't gotten easier as I've gotten older.  I still work my butt off, but I don't exactly have a high-powered career that affords me big bonuses and lots of vacations.  We don't have an dynamic house with fabulous furnishings and amazing architecture.  My yard isn't the best-manicured on the block (not even close, thanks to the large tree we recently had to cut down!).  It sounds like I'm crapping all over my life and lamenting that I'm not "good enough"...and that's absolutely not my intention.  What I'm driving at is "Santosha" - feeling satisfaction with what I have and not getting in the way of others' happiness.  I'm not giving up my "drive" or my goals - but I do have to practice being happy for others who are blessed.  When a friend gets a promotion, instead of asking "Hey, why aren't I getting promoted?" it's time to be happy for the friend and be content in knowing that when the time is right for me, I'll get promoted, too.  Or not.  When someone I know experiences joy or happiness in his/her life, it's not time to question where my joy is; it's time to honor the fact that someone has found happiness, and hope that one day, they will be feeling the same for me.  Or not.
Santosha is a way of reminding myself that with or without these "trappings of success", I am worthy, I am capable of satisfaction, and it's up to me to find and see that contentment.  Being content is not about "things" and "experiences", which is hard to keep in mind in our American society which is competitive and materialistic.  Santosha brings it back to the basics - "Honor the good in yourself, honor the good in others".
Thanks for reading and joining me on my yogic journey.  More is on the horizon...

"May all beings, everywhere, be happy and free.  And may the thoughts and actions of my own life contribute, in some way, to that happiness and to that freedom" - Swami Nirmalananda