Would ya quit staring?

I have been casually reading a book on yoga:  The Spirit and Practice of Moving Into Stillness by Erich Schiffman.  It was recommended to me by a yoga teacher, who thought I might enjoy it as I continue on my yoga journey.  I picked up the book, figuring it would be an easy read, but it's turning out to be some heavy, philosophical stuff.  It's anything but "light"...I've been dipping in and out of the text for about 3 weeks now, and I'm only on page 33 (the book has 300+ pages!).  The Introduction covers the author's personal path to finding yoga, and the first part of the book goes into your core of goodness and why yoga should be a part of your life.  This is the part that I'm in the middle of covering, and I've paused on a short section called "Eye Contact During the Day".

Schiffman is explaining something he calls the "Third Dimension" of yoga - one where you've recognized the truth within, and are ready to seek it out in others.  Since you've recognized the truth within yourself, seeing the truth in others allows you to see bits of yourself in them, reinforcing the yogic idea that we are all part of the same energy/fiber/fabric/existence.  He concludes with several "exercises designed to actualize all of this".  One of them is this concept of Eye Contact During the Day.

Basically, Schiffman is recommending you to make eye contact with others, his words: "Practice looking in the eyes of others...be interested in 'going in there' and seeing them."  Hmmmm....how exactly is this accomplished without freaking people out?  Especially when he commands: "Let them see you seeing them". This was the line that got me.  I mean, to close friends and acquaintances, I suppose I would be able to explain that I'm practicing this "gazing" mediation, and they might understand.  Most might wonder if I was experimenting with Jedi Mind Tricks, and promptly bump me down a few notches on the scale of "people you want to spend more time with".  As I run out of friends to do this with, I'll have to move down the line to acquaintances...  Now, acquaintances don't really know much more about me than my name and perhaps some mutual interests, but they probably won't want to know ANY more about me once they see me going "back and forth (from eye to eye) until you find them and then beam in on them"!


What is it about eye contact that makes people uneasy?  Is it the fact that our eyes are like windows into our soul; a place where you cannot hide your true emotions, try as you might?  I'm willing to go out on a short limb here and say yes.  How many times have you said hi to someone, and their mouth smiles back, says hi, but their eyes do not? (I'm not talking about Botox, here)  Why are we so afraid of letting people see how we really feel?  I think this is what the passage in the book is getting at - being honest with yourself allows you to be honest with others, and in turn, prepare you to receive honesty from them.

Making eye contact for the sake of honesty does seem important...but not to the point of being invasive.  I'll admit that I have quite a few insecurities, but I am working hard to free myself from them.  I am finding that it is not that easy.  I'm starting with being more friendly - and this is proving to be a challenge, especially when people I am trying to be friendly with aren't being friendly in return.  This generates more insecurities in me (why didn't that person say hi back to me?  why aren't people including me?  am I not fun to be around?  am I annoying?  maybe I'm un-cool.  did I say something stupid or offensive?)  I've gotta get over it.  There are a million reasons why people aren't friendly - maybe they're shy, maybe they are distracted, maybe they have no social skills, or they're just rude.  It's not up to me to figure out why.  I have to surrender the insecurities and just be "ME".  Without using Jedi Mind Tricks on people, so don't worry.  I plan to give this eye contact thing a try, but not to the point where I'm invading people's emotions or seeing things that they don't want me to see.  Just a brief gaze into those windows will send a loud enough message that I care about what someone is saying to me, and I value the time spent interacting together.  No staring or "beaming in" necessary.

You're being in the same world together, acknowledging one another's existence. - E. Schiffman, 1996

Cleansing

Well, after a heavy, philosophical post yesterday, I figured I might follow it with one that was a little more superficial.  Yes, that's a little contradictory - in fact, my claims at searching "Santosha" are themselves contradictory as anyone who knows my shopping habits can attest.  Suffice it to say, I do admit I've got a lot of things to get in check if I'm going to be honest in my yogic lifestyle.
This spring, "Cleansing" was everywhere, most likely in an attempt to get everyone "bikini body" ready.  Try the Blueprint Cleanse - you'll drop 10 pounds in 15 days.  Try the Master Cleanse - 5 pounds in 5 days.  The GOOP cleanse - you'll look just like Gwyneth did at the Oscars!  Well, I attempted the Zrii detox.  And it got me absolutely NO results.  Wish Santosha was on my radar back then - I would have been content and satisfied with my jiggly thighs and soft tummy.  Alas, I am human, and like all humans, I struggle with finding contentment and satisfaction.
I digress.  The Zrii cleanse is promoted by the Chopra Center (the DEEPAK Chopra Center), which is where I first learned about it.  The Center was offering a 7 day Zrii detox kit to kick off the spring and rid your body of accumulated toxins, excess fluid, and in the process, you "might" lose a few pounds (like 7-10!), but "we're not promising anything".
Good thing they didn't, because I didn't lose 7 pounds.  I gained 5.  On top of the 5 I had gained over the winter.  Yeah, I'm not really at my fighting weight, and my recent addiction to Liquorice Allsorts (I know, strange...but they're surprisingly yummy! Creamy, coconut-y, anise-y.  I somehow got hooked.) isn't helping.  I did the detox over the Easter break, for the most part because the literature accompanying the kit mentioned it was best to be free from distractions and have easy access to the bathroom (Hey, that sounds promising - really getting rid of that toxic stuff, eh?).  What they weren't counting on was my easy access to Coconut M&Ms and Cadbury mini eggs.
I started each day by taking 3 capsules of some greenish brown herbal blend.  15 minutes after that, I was to drink something reminiscent of old-school Metamucil (a greenish powder which was stirred into 8 oz of water) AND drink a full tablespoon of Zrii "CitrusCleansing Oil".  I gagged.  I gagged every single time I had to swallow that tablespoon, so I reduced it to half a tablespoon, and eventually eliminated it.  Well, maybe that oil was essential to the cleanse and that's why I gained weight instead of losing.
What really happened is that I wasn't being mindful - haven't been mindful - and that's what balancing your weight (and LIFE!) is about.  Being mindful about what I'm eating, when I'm eating it, and how I'm eating is a lifestyle change.  That kind of change is the one that gets results - not some quick fix 5 to 7 day detoxing cleanse with crazy ingredients that supposedly "stoke the inner fire" and increase your metabolism to lose weight.  What you're inevitably losing is water weight - which you will gain back when the cleanse is done, unless you use the cleanse to jumpstart your LIFESTYLE change.
In the meantime, if you're feeling clogged with toxins and would like to rid your body of the "ick" that's in there, try cleansing through asana.  Simple spinal twists wring out the kidneys and liver - your "built-in" detoxifiers.  Gentle backbends offer the same benefits.  Add these postures to your lifestyle changes, and you'll lose the weight AND actually detox!
Thanks for reading....more to follow!

Do we need a resolution?

It's been a while...3 1/2 months to be exact.  There's no reason for my departure, other than sheer laziness.  I mean, I didn't exactly have anything profound to say in the last 3 months.  It's not like I have anything profound to say now, but I've only had small ideas on my mind.  I didn't have the time or the inspiration to develop them into "blog-worthy" ideas.  It takes a lot of effort (usually late at night, after the kids are asleep, papers are graded, and the lesson is squared away for the next day), and there are a lot of things I'd rather do with my time.  Things like talk with my husband, watch a little TV, read a magazine, another chapter of my book, shave my legs, polish my nails, catch a few ZZZs myself.  Instead, I found myself folding laundry, vacuuming, utilizing all the "de-cluttering" ideas from said magazines, and trying to keep up with homelife in general.  This left precious little time (and motivation) for blogging.

However, more than a few times since 2012 began, I found a situation pop up that made me think "Hey, that would make a good blog post!".  It seems like so many people in my life are unhappy or worried these days.  People at work are disappointed with their students' efforts or are worn-down from the inconsistent messages we get from administration.  People in town are divided over the school budget and the best way to deal with the projected shortfall and supposed lack-of-rigor in our maths program.   People all over are arguing over presidential politics.  People on Facebook just seem to be bitter and hopeless (I'll shamefully admit to having been snarky once or twice).  There are so many battles that we all seem to be fighting - and when I do mindless household chores (the grown-up version of a "thinking chair"), I inevitably find myself coming up with the realization that so many yogic teachings can help us to better deal with these battles.  Only, I'd end up making a mental note, and get on with my tasks, only to forget it or lose inspiration later. 

Once that calendar makes the flip from December to January (although as far as the universe is concerned, it's just Earth beginning another trip around the sun!), it's only natural for people to start contemplating the potential that the new year holds.  Maybe make a few resolutions; "promises" to yourself to make something better in the year ahead. 

I, myself, never bother to make any resolutions.  It's not that I don't think there's room for improvement in my life.  I have the same 5 (or this year, it seems to be 10) pounds that everyone else has to lose.  I need to be more conscientious about the way I use our resources (money included!).  I really should be more forgiving of my own faults so that I'm better able to forgive the faults of others.  But I have never seen the point of making resolute promises that EVERY single bit of research shows rarely lasts beyond 3 months.  I'm not without the need to improve, but I suppose I am a bit of a defeatest.  Why start something that I know I'm not going to finish?  A year, afterall, is a loooooong 365 days when you have to cut something out (like spending, or drinking, or eating, or gossiping)

With yoga, I find that I have a chance to make not a yearly resolution, but a DAILY resolution.  It's much easier to to live with an intention for a day.  Whenever I'm on my mat, I know I have 20 minutes, 45 minutes, an hour, or however long I give myself to just breathe.  I can forget about the things that are troubling me.  They aren't going anywhere, they'll be right there when I'm done - BUT after an extended time of deep breathing and stretching out my limbs,effectively wringing out even the most deeply-seated stress, I know I'll be better equipped to handle what life throws at me.  At the start of a practice, I can make even the simplist intention, mediate on it for the entire session, and finish up knowing that I can deal with that "daily resolution" for the next 24 hours or until the next time I find myself on the mat.

So yes, there are many things I need to work on in the year ahead.  I have my work cut out for me if I only set out to undo the damage I did in 2011 before I even think about making things better in 2012.  But will making a resolution help?  I don't think it really will.  I think I just need to be more mindful of the world around me - set an intention each day to look at the bigger picture, and notice that I'm merely one brush-stroke in the beautiful painting.  The way my brushstroke mingles and interacts with all the other strokes is what gives the painting it's beauty.  I see something in myself and recognize that I'm a small part of something much, much bigger than me. This is what yoga is about, and this is what I want to share with whoever will listen (or read).  It's not a "resolution", but it is something that gives me purpose as I go forward with writing my blog and sharing my yoga journey with you.  Namaste.

Let your body be graceful on the mat, be gracious in dealing with others, appreciate and honor the grace within them.