Flying on the Mat

What a week!  Even still, I found time to fly on my mat, thanks to a great Wednesday session by Josh.
Summer is ending, dear readers.  Soon, it's time to acclimate myself (and my children) to a regular daily schedule, which will be unlike any other September that has come before.  This is mainly because I'll be heading back to school for my Yoga Teacher Training.  I've never been a "student" while being a mother, let along a working professional (unlike a lot of my colleagues, I completed my Masters Degree before I started my teaching career).  Thankfully, I'm comfortable in my skin as both a mother and a teacher, so I feel like I'm up for the challenge - fully admitting that it is going to be nothing short of a challenge.
I digress.  I have roughly one week left to squeeze in as much yoga as I can.  I do feel that "yoga as I know it" is going to change, once I enter the teaching program, so I want to experience flying under someone else's guidance while I have the opportunity, and that's just what Josh presented this past Wednesday - so fitting, as he announced that a sub will be filling in for his class next week.  You all know how I feel about substitute yoga teachers.  This week was enough to last two weeks - as we worked heavily on Balancing postures, which are my strong suit.
It's been a while since I've felt like I've been flying on my mat.  Maybe I've been distracted (trying to recall/practice Sanskrit, thinking about what I should blog, worrying about my bra showing), maybe my focus hasn't quite been on-point, maybe instructors haven't felt much like having us fly.  Whatever the reason, it's been a while, and this past Wednesday, I got a sweet taste of flying.  It renewed everything I love about yoga.
I don't know if it's an "official" posture or asana, but we moved via swandive into a crescent lunge.  For that brief moment before your back foot touches down, you're balancing on one leg, and it makes you feel like you're flying.  I love this feeling, so I extended my leg for as long as I could - Imagining myself as a graceful bird taking flight. I savored the feeling, and whenever the opportunity arose within the practice to do it again, I balanced.  I let my leg go long and slow, my arms go wide and expansive, my breath come in deep, just to prolong the feeling of flying.
Flying doesn't come often on the mat - you have to be in the right zone - but when the moment arises, carpe diem, friends, and enjoy every second!  Maybe when I'm a yoga teacher, I'll try to work in a little flying with every session.  That's how good it feels.


" Be sure to breathe... Hold the posture, not your breath" - Josh

"Big" Birthdays

Happy Birthday, Mom!

Soon, my mother is about to turn 60 (like, tomorrow).  That's a pretty big birthday.  It's not the biggest she or I would ever like to celebrate, but it's a big deal.  These days, though, 60 is positively "young" - Tom Cruise is just 10 years younger than that, and he's still doing hard-core action films.  Madonna is closer to 60 than she is to 50 (I think), and she's still traipsing around stage dressed like a "Carnival Stripper" (thanks, Elton John, for that spot-on analogy!), and don't get me started on the Stones and McCartney.  Some of my friends have siblings who are close to 60, and when I mention my mother is not even 60 yet, they can't believe how young she is (do I look THAT old, that you can't believe I would have a mom who is just turning 60?)

I don't have a "girlfriendy" relationship with my mother - partly a result of distance (we live about 3 hours apart - she, comfortably ensconced in the rural parts of NJ, me, happily running the rat race outside of NYC), but I think it's moreso a result of my independent nature, even from a young age.  Imagine a newly-married 21 year-old (gosh she was young!), excited about the birth of her first baby, looking forward to the cuddling and care-giving, only to find this baby fiercely willful and wanting to do her own thing.  Not long after, followed another baby; a "cuddler" - you know, one of those babies who never wants to be put down.  Ever.  That was my sister.  So there's my 23 year-old mother chasing down a 2 year old who liked to throw the contents of the medicine cabinet into the tub and mix everything up (hey, it was the 70's - before childproof caps!) while trying to placate the screaming 5 month old on her hip.  Next day, said 2 year old decides to climb into the crib and wake the baby from her nap by smearing her (and the walls) with peanut butter.  Man, I can't believe my mom didn't give me away after that.  She probably tried, but no one was stupid enough to fall for it.

This isn't anything several of us hasn't experienced, believe me.  Except my mom followed up with 2 more kids!  My dad was not a banker or highly paid attorney.  There were no nannies or mother's helpers.  There was no grandma around to help out - my parents moved away from their families in western PA when I was 4 or 5, to NJ, where we had no relatives nearby.  In fact, there wasn't even a station wagon!  When my brother was born (I was soon to turn 6) my parents had to buy a "bigger" car - a Ford LTD sedan (you read that right.  A sedan). We picked one in baby blue, because we had a new baby boy.  Not even 30, with 3 kids, my mom couldn't be a stay-at-home mom anymore, so she went back to work.  Except she had to work at night because my dad worked during the day.  And then she had another baby.  I was in 6th grade, had just turned 12, and my mom was probably shitting a brick.  33 years old with 4 kids!  

There are times growing up, especially as a selfish, whiny teen with no concept of the way the world works, where I thought my parents were unfair to me for having so many kids.  I wasn't able to go to sleep away camp.  We didn't go to Disney World every year like my friends did.  In order to go on the Latin trip to Italy, I had to raise my own money by selling M&Ms (that was A LOT of M&Ms.  I "sold" a lot to myself.  I was quite chubby to prove it!).  I remember my mom being my age now, getting ready to send her oldest daughter off to college.  My dad packed my every last belonging into our car (still no station wagon...by that time, he had upgraded to a Buick), and when we arrived on campus 6 hours later, he phoned home to let my mom know we had arrived.  She replied that the new "guest room" was finished!  I never lived home again after that.
Knowing what I know now, I no longer think my mom was unfair; I think my mom was brave (and maybe a lil' bit crazy).  Growing up, it never seemed like she sacrificed much to raise us, but it's glaringly apparent now that she sacrificed an awful lot to raise four kids (especially a pain in the ass like me).  There were probably lots of times that she wanted to have "date night" with her hubby, or go on a "girls weekend getaway" with one of her sisters.  Times where she wanted to go new clothes shopping instead of grocery shopping (again).  She probably wanted a cleaning lady to help out, but she had none of that.  Sure, she cajoled us into helping out now and again, but I know what my sister's bedroom looked like, and lots of those battles were losing ones.

It wasn't all doom-and-gloom raising us.  I know that there have been many, many rays of sunshine in her first 60 years, but my greatest wish for my mom's next 60 years is that they are filled with so much sun that she's gotta wear shades - and I hope they are the biggest, coolest, most stylish shades she can find!
Happy Birthday, Mom!  I know you never, ever read my blog, but I love you and I can't wait to celebrate your birthday with you tomorrow.
xxoo.

YATS fashion review: Zinni yoga top

The Zinni Twist-back Yoga
Tank, as modeled by me!

It's been a while since I've done a yoga clothing review, so, dear readers, it's time!  Today, I'm reviewing a top from a new yoga line:  Zinni, available exclusively on Garnet Hill.  Let me start by saying that I LUUUURVE Garnet Hill, more and more with each catalog that comes in the mail.  I used to feel this way about JCrew, but it's just too pricey/trendy/impractical these days and I just seem to find more things at Garnet Hill that are worthy of my cold-hard cash.
Garnet Hill is not "cheap" by any sense of the word - the clothing can be expensive, but it is also practical because you can wear it to work, on the weekends, or out to dinner.  They do not operate any bricks-&-mortar shops (catalog and online only), which lends them to superior customer service.  They are completely flexible with returns and exchanges, knowing that their customer is not able to try things on before purchasing.  The website features customer reviews which are honest and helpful.  They also sell lots of things that a woman in her late-30s (ugh, I hate to have to type that, but it's true.) might be purchasing in one go:  gorgeous bed and bath linens, cute and funky shoes, delicate jewelry, clothes that are classic with a trendy edge, and now yoga gear!  Need I add that everything is of superior quality?  It is.
One of my favorite things that Garnet Hill does, and I'm not sure how they get away with it, is feature a brand-name product for a little while, and then go ahead and manufacture their own version at a slightly lower price point - without sacrificing style or quality.  Case in point:  Eileen Fisher leggings are supposedly amazing (at $98, I can't afford them), so GH featured them for a while, found some heiresses women who were willing to buy them, and decided to make their own, at a much more reasonable price point: $38.  Same thing happened with French Sole ballet flats.  FS sells for $188, GH sells something similar for $98.  Now they've done it with yoga wear.
I've become a devotee of Lucy activewear.  I am starting to know the fit, I know which shapes flatter my body (important, since I'm usually running an errand or two after class!), and allow me to move through postures.  For some time now, I've been able to purchase Lucy yoga clothes at GH, and now GH has started their own line of activewear called "zinni", no doubt modeled on the Lucy line.  I wasn't really in the market for new yoga clothes, but when one of the tops went on sale, I decided to give the new line a try.  What you see above (front view) and below (back view) is the zinni "Twist-back Yoga Tank".  I ordered a Small (which the description says is "6-8"), my usual size in Lucy.  The zinni top is a little snug across the bust, but it's not restricting.  The bottom half of the tank skims my torso, but it is not loose-fitting.  It's just not as tight as the bust.  If I happen to do any inversions, this top is not going to slide down and reveal my pasty white tummy to my fellow yogis, a plus in my book!  The back of the top it a little interesting, as it has the promised "twist back".  I was worried about my sports bra strap (there is a shelf bra, but I needed a little more support) peeking through, but that doesn't seem to be an issue.  The top itself is made of a high quality, substantial fabric (93% nylon, 7% spandex)

Back view of Zinni Twist-back Yoga top

So, is this my new favorite top?  Not really, but that's not going to stop me from wearing it on the mat (or on the elliptical, for that matter!).  I think I might try a few other tops in this line to get to know the fit and style.  For now, I'm happy for my purchase, and even happier that I was able to snag it at a great price.
The Zinni Twist-back Yoga Tank is available here (on sale!) in 3 colors (black, Castlerock, and Paisley).  Get it while you can!

Why is it....

....that my lovely children, who rarely remember to flush the toilet, suddenly choose to "remember" to flush when I'm in the shower, causing scalding hot water to rain down on me?

Why is it that when I have 15 minutes to pick up my son from camp I make it there in 5 minutes and have to listen to his protest the whole way home? ( "Why did you have to pick me up early?  I'm always the first to leave!!")  That said, if I have 10 minutes to pick up my son from camp, I get stuck behind someone driving a Buick LeSabre who takes the 30 mph speed limit so seriously that they actually drive 25 mph and wouldn't ever dream of speeding up at a yellow light (we hit every red on the way) so I end up being 10 minutes late and have to listen to his protest the whole way home? ("Why were you so late today?  I was so lonely sitting there by myself!")

Why is it that I realize that I'm running low on milk and keep forgetting to pick it up each of the 3 times I run out to the store and when I finally get around to using the milk, I find that I'm 1/2 cup short for the recipe? (and by the way, why am I so disorganized these days that I can't get through the week without going grocery shopping 3 times?  During the school year I plan the menu/ make the list on Saturday and I shop on Sunday.  That's IT).

Why is it that a cloudy morning causes me to choose to slather on SPF 15, but by the time I'm out and about (with no backup sunscreen), the sun makes its appearance and stays out, full force so I get a bit of a sunburn - the day before my dermatologist screening?

I know, I know, these situations happen to any and all of us.  That doesn't make it any less frustrating when it happens to me.  Rather than whinging, I suppose I'd better get to my point and explain what this has to do with yoga.  Murphy's law says that "Anything that can go wrong, WILL go wrong".  These aren't necessarily  Murphy's Law situations.  The pessimistic icon is actually providing encouragement for the rest of us to plan ahead in the event of a less-than ideal outcome.  No, my situations all seem to be a product of bad timing.

Yoga teaches us many things, one of which is patience.  Anyone would do well to practice a little patience when "bad timing" situations arise.  Breathing deep can help you relax a bit and maybe, just maybe, try and see some good in the situation.  Patience can help you realize those positives among the negatives a little more readily.

You see, I can take advantage of the "extra steam" to add a spa-like, pore-opening experience to my shower.  I can be grateful for the LeSabre driver for holding me up so that maybe I missed a situation that might have caused a mishap or even an accident further up the road.  I can be grateful for the opportunity to "experiment" in the kitchen or substitute a lighter alternative (although I must note you can't get much lighter than skim milk) in my crepes.
And what to do about that sunburn?  I suppose I should take a cue from the dermatologist and just slather SPF 30 everyday, regardless of cloud cover.

Whatever the situation, try even one deep breath to help you manage the negative outcomes and turn your lemons into lemonade.

We can all waste a great deal of energy on negativity.  Instead repeating the mantra "Happiness is what happens" can help you feel more accepting of the here and now. - Liz Lark in "1001 Pearls of Yoga Wisdom"

Book review: Hatha Yoga Pradipika

The required reading list for my yoga teacher training is turning out to be more varied and extensive than I could have imagined.  I'm not getting a Master's Degree or anything, although it seems like I'm going to be putting in the same amount of time!  When I got my regular Master's Degree (EdM), I don't recall any one class having more than 2 books as "suggested reading".  For this training which I'm about to embark on, I have 6 books that are not merely suggested, but required.  And some of them are pretty thick!

I've been dipping in and out of them as the deliveries arrive from Amazon or Barnes and Noble, and when The Hatha Yoga Pradipika arrived, I thought to myself, "This is more like it"...if only because the book is a lightweight 113 pages long - and every page contains at least half Sanskrit with the English translation right underneath!  (here's what Wikipedia says about the Hatha Yoga Pradipika).

I thought I'd whiz right through this one and then be able to indulge in some good old fiction before summer is over (Gone Girl, anyone?).  I read the introduction (yeah, yeah, the author/translator is telling the reader how he's staying true to the translation, how some things are not recommended, but it's in the Sanskrit, so he's including it....etc etc) and then got to the text.  There are only 4 chapters!  On page 3, there are pictures!  I start wishing that the other textbooks were like this.

But no, it doesn't stay this easy.  For a book that is only 113 pages, half in a language I can only admire for it's unfamiliar, elegant curliques and upside-down appearance, and almost 1/8 full of pictures, this was no easy read.  I'm not just saying that because it's summertime and it's hard for me to focus on academia in the heat.  There are lots of references to different Yogi Masters, and you have to keep flipping back and forth to keep them straight.  There are recommendations for postures as well as bizarre rituals to help you, the fledgling yogi, avoid death.  In fact, Svatmarama (the original author) is rather obsessed with beating death.  I mean, I thought I was bad, fruitlessly scouring the shelves at Sephora for a creme to eliminate the deep furrow between my eyebrows (a casualty of teaching Middle School, I'm convinced), but no.  This guy is constantly referencing poses to make it possible to digest deadly poisons (yeah, like I was ingesting those anyway), postures which destroy disease, and recommends rituals to avoid death.

I'm not poking fun or belittling this text in anyway.  I've read it, and I don't "get it" just yet, and that first instinct to find fault in something that is not understood is kicking into gear.  I'm hopeful that the directors of the training program will enlighten us, both to the message of the text and the reason we're reading it.  By the way, it was fairly easy to pick out the portions of the original text that this translator did not recommend (gradually elongate your tongue by cutting, shaking, and stretching it until it touches your forehead?  So THAT's how the ancient yogis could do that...!) but for it's overt mystic qualities, this book seems worthwhile, if only for putting your mind "in the zone" to receive your yoga training.

Don't worry about me....unless you see me walking around licking my eyebrows.

Samadhi appears automatically in the yogi whose shakti is awake and who has abandoned all actions - Svatmarama, The Hatha Yoga Pradipika.

When things get in the way...

Boobs!
Ha!  You thought that I was going to say "Family", "Work", "Everyday Chores", didn't you?  Well, yes, those things can get "in the way" of a regular yoga practice.  A fellow mom was recently lamenting to me that she wanted to start a regular yoga practice, but it was hard with kids always in tow.  She made a commitment to herself that she would just pick a class she liked, hire a sitter, and go for it.  Good for her!  Lots of studio classes are held mid-morning, making it hard for the working person to make it to the mat - and you have to be pretty committed to get your butt out of bed for a 6am yoga practice before work!
Yes, life does get in the way, but so can your body parts!  Body parts like Boobs (if you have them), thighs, bellies, and (dare I say it?) chins.  On Monday, I was on the mat with Betsy leading us (Betsy is the director of the yoga teacher training program I will be starting in September), and she guided us into cow-face pose (Gomukhasana).  It's a nice hip-opener, but if you have larger than average thighs (not passing judgement!  It could be from anything:  genetics, running, excessive ellipticalling, being overweight), it can be a challenge to get your right thigh over your left to stack your knees.  We did our best.  Next, Betsy asked us to open the hips further by leaning forward, and she joked "I've heard that boobs can get in the way, so if you can't go too far forward, it's okay!"  Ha ha ha, the class chuckled along.  When an anonymous yogi in the back of the class posed, "I've heard that about bellies, too..." there was more laughter.  Little did they know that this is a serious matter for some of us.
Well, it's not life-and-death serious, but it can lead a yogi to feel like his/her progress is being hindered in a posture or worse, lead to feelings of insecurity.  It doesn't help being in a yoga class when the 98 pound teenager on the mat in front of you can pretzel her way into every posture with ease.  Part of the solution is sensitivity on the part of the instructor.  Betsy's joke was perfect - letting us know that it's okay if things get in the way, and subtly saying "you're not the only one".  It's the instructor's job to make you feel confident while teaching proper form, and if necessary, offering modifications for the posture that suit YOUR practice.  What this means is there are "loopholes" for certain postures.  There is more than one way to stretch that hip, and if something gets in the way, we'll just wiggle around until something's not in the way!  There are plenty of yoga classes for pregnant women, and while the class is designed for gentle stretches for those more limber than usual ligaments, a big part of the practice is getting around that belly.  Some of these same postures could work for someone who otherwise has a larger than normal midsection.
Boobs are a little harder, mainly when it comes to inversions.  Take it from me, going into supported bridge and shoulderstand are no fun when the girls are in the way, making it difficult to take those all-important breaths in.  I always feel a bit ridiculous when I'm in shoulderstand, knowing that I really could make my spine straighter if I could only breathe easier!  Luckily, props can help out here, as I recently found out in an Iyengar class!  Using something as simple as a folded blanket under the shoulders can open up an inch or two at the front of your neck, and that's really all that was needed!  Props are not solely for beginners - I was beginning to see that they really can help to get you deeper into a posture that you have been struggling with.
Life gets in the way, body parts get in the way, during home practice, my KIDS get in the way.  Part of yoga is having patience to deal with all of these things, but having a sense of humor about it helps, too.  Know that you're not the only one struggling with life, body, or kids, and a prop or two (and a babysitter!) can help get you where you're going.

Build positivity in your practice:  All events will flow towards a beautiful resolution.

A little something different...

To say that I've been doing a lot of yoga this summer is a bit of an understatement.  Last Summer, I tried doing a "week of yoga" - where I would practice for 7 days in a row.  I wanted to see how I felt, to see if my body began to be transformed, to see if I became more committed (or worse, addicted!).  At the end of the week, I had managed to take 5 days of gym yoga classes and 2 days of home practice with DVDs, and while I was proud of myself, I didn't experience any magical transformations.  Maybe a little more sore in my shoulders, but I didn't suddenly have flat abs and amazing shoulders.  That sort of thing takes years of dedicated practice...not a solid week.  I can report that I felt more relaxed and centered, and realized how important yoga is to me...so perhaps I renewed my commitment to the mat, and yes, started an addiction.

This summer, in light of the fact that I am starting Yoga Teacher Training in a few short weeks, I set a new goal for myself:  To try as many different classes as possible this summer.  There are my faves - the gym standbys - and I make time for them every week (as long as I'm not in Paris!) because I simply can't make their classes when I'm working.  I have no idea if Josh and Heidy feel a bit happier when I show up with my mat, but I certainly am happy and grateful to be able to be there!  I'm also branching out and trying new teachers, new studios, and new classes!  I've done Iyengar, Hatha, Restorative, Vinyasa, and now "Family Yoga"!

A new studio opened in my town, and while it is technically a "Wellness Center" - offering a variety of "mindful" experiences (Meditation, Kirtan, Nutritional counselling, eco-crafts, etc) - yoga is the main focus.  There's teen yoga, yoga camp for kids, mixed level, restorative, vinyasa, and FAMILY YOGA!  I convinced my husband to join me and the boys for this fun, 45-minute practice.  It certainly was something different!

The main focus of Family Yoga was to introduce smaller people and their grownups to the practice and benefits of yoga.   The obvious benefits are easily understood by the grownups, but kids may be too "literal" to understand abstract benefits like improved focus, better balance, a more "centered" and "present" mind, so this was introduced to them through a series of fun postures and games on the mat.  There was no "organized" flow - instead, the practice was very organic.  The instructor (who happens to be a co-owner of the studio) skillfully led us through a few postures and when it was time to be silly, she let it happen.  When it was time to re-center, she made fun games to bring us back to attention.  This was great for my 5 year old, who can be a bit spontaneous and is not always the best listener.  My 8 year old had practiced before, and happily followed along.  My main concern was Husband, who sees me doing yoga videos in the living room, and was a bit unsure of how he was going to balance in Half-moon or Warrior 3.  He's not exactly the "patient" type, either, and that's a big part of a yoga practice.  Naturally, I was worried he might not like it.

After the class was over, I realized that my worries were for nil.  I'm not saying that Husband is going to jump right in and start yoga teacher training with me, but I can say that a good time was had by all!  It felt wonderful to support a new small business in town, but it felt amazing to share my love of yoga with my family.  The time spent together, parent and child, on the mat was precious. Helping one another into postures and interacting together in a gentle, physical way was time well-spent!  With time and regular practice, I can envision my spontaneous 5 year old building better listening skills.  Perhaps my 8 year old will become more confident.  Maybe, just maybe, I can see Husband becoming more patient.  What is for sure is the bond we build as we spend focused, family-centered time together will only become stronger!

Gratitude

See that word over there? <---  It means "contentment" - something that I think I will be struggling with for a very long time.  Then again, what life is there without struggle?  Does struggle make life worth living?  Such a silly question, because I can think of many people who struggle a whole lot more that I do, and does that make their life worth more than mine?  I know a great many people who seem to struggle a whole let less than I do, and I'm pretty sure it doesn't make their life worth less.  I think the question I mean to ask is "what is a life without struggle?"  Is it a life with contentment?  But that's what I'm struggling with!  ...Aha, you begin to see my conundrum...
Nonetheless, sometimes things don't quite go the way I plan them (and as a working mom with 2 small children, there is often a carefully orchestrated plan in place to make sure kids get where they need to be, house cleaned, groceries shopped, laundry done, doctors appointments made, general house upkeep, etc).  When the plan fails, it's so easy to get upset, to get worked up, to get frustrated.  It takes a great amount of humility to stop and be grateful for those times when the plan actually *does* go right.  In fact, when the plan does go right, I, personally, don't stop and take a moment to express gratitude for that.  Perhaps I should...
On Monday, my older boy started his full-day summer camp.  Prior to this week, he had only been doing an activity that lasted from 8am to 10am.  My younger son has camp from 9am to noon.  What this meant was that I had only a 1-hour kid-free window to do whatever it was that needed doing.  That's not a whole lot of time.  Now, I have a 3-hour window, which opens up a world of possibilities!  Or so I thought.  I, of course, wanted to squeeze in some studio yoga classes, but by the time I drive the half-hour to the studio, take the hour and 15 minute class, and drive home for another half hour, it leaves me with 45 minutes to do whatever.  Not nearly enough time.
Huh?  I had a 1 hour window where I was too rushed to do anything, and suddenly I have a 3 hour window, and it's still not enough time?!?  I was in the studio class on Monday morning, on my mat, feeling disgruntled that by the time class was over and I drove home, I wouldn't have enough time to do any other errands.  Then it dawned on me that I wasn't feeling gratitude for the time I did have.  I made the choice to spend my time on the mat - and while my to-do list wasn't getting any shorter  - the dry cleaning wasn't getting picked up, the phone calls weren't getting made, the fresh groceries for dinner weren't being bought, I could rationalize that I was choosing to spend my time on the mat.  Time well-spent, if you ask ANY yogi!
(actually, in retrospect, a calm, relaxed and centered Mommy is quite a positive accomplishment for any family!  Count your blessings, boys!)
I often find myself telling my children: "Be thankful for the things you actually do have, do not cry for the things you don't have"  This often comes up when one brother gets a perceived "treat" that the other brother does not (ie, one gets more time on the iPad, or eats dessert at a slower pace so it seems like he had a larger serving, etc).  My reflections on Monday led me to realize that I would do well to take my own advice.  I think if I took pause and remembered to be grateful more often, then my life might begin to come closer to "contentment"

Ask inwardly for guidance, and listen for a reply - Erich Schiffmann