Aparigraha

Well, here we are, my 5th and final week of "self-restraint", and I've come to the Yama "aparigraha".  I've not harmed, I've not lied, I've not stolen, and I've not lusted.  What am I up against this week?  Not hoarding!  This is going to be the best Yama yet!

I already started the non-hoarding this morning, by putting out some old furniture that had been languishing in our basement for about a year.  I gathered up and bagged some of the boys' out-grown clothing for donation.  When I went grocery shopping this week, I was very conscious about my purchases - even if things were on sale, I only bought exactly what I needed for the week (I can't say the same for Husband, who was sent to make a return and came home with what seemed like 5 boxes of Reese's Puffs).  What my thoughts turn to is where does this tendency to hoard things come from?

I think about my mother's pantry, filled with long-expired cake mix, canned soups, quinoa from before quinoa was cool, jars of mayo and boxes of breadcrumbs.  She keeps a deep freezer stocked with meat, frozen "fresh" pasta, LouieBloo Raspberry Otter Pops from 1985, and various bags of veggies, now probably gray with freezer burn.  My siblings and I joke that she could feel a small developing nation for a week - and it's just her and my dad living at home. PS, even with that much food, she still goes grocery shopping at BJs every week.  Did I mention there are only 2 people living in their house?

 I think about my husband's parents, and their TWO closets filled with old school papers, CDs and boyhood trinkets from when my husband was last living at home.  Every time my in-laws visit, they bring one whole suitcase filled with both food packets, "In case you can't buy cooking sauce here", and stuff from 1979, including my husband's "Star Wars" doodlings.  Don't worry, though...they shop the entire time they are here, so that suitcase just gets filled back up again with stuff for them to take home with them.  PS, when I get the urge to throw the frayed, yellowing pages of old schoolwork away, my husband is right there, saying, "Just hold on to it...I'll find a place for it"

Do we, as human beings in this great land of plenty known as America, have a fear of missing out?  Are we concerned that we might not get our "fair share"?  Are we worried that things we desire may never go on sale, ever again?  Are we fearful that we might forget a stage of our lives if we don't have a tangible reminder of what we did and created back then?

Do we really need this much?  It's almost gross, our over-consumption, our dependency on Warehouse stores because we live in huge homes and need to fill them with things, including a gallon of ketchup in case there's ever a shortage of high-fructose corn syrup-filled tomato sauce.  We have so many kids who do so many activities that we "need" to buy SUVs ("oh, but it's considered a mid-size.  It's not really that big...") with 15mpg gigantic tanks that need filling, so we end up hoarding gas, too.  But how much do we really need to make us happy?

Ultimately, I think it has to be this pursuit of happiness that is causing all this hoarding.  I mean, it's written into our constitution, isn't it?  Life, Liberty, and the pursuit of Happiness.  But when did the pursuit of Happiness translate into the acquisition of "things"?  And with all of the "things" that we have, how many of us are truly happy?  There's always more to have, so we work ever harder to hoard more money so we can afford to buy bigger houses and bigger cars so we can fill them with more things and more kids and more, more, more.

Aparigraha means "less".  It means, take a look around you, and let go of things.  When you let go, you can begin to find contentment.  This is not easy.  It will probably cause me pain.  I've been lying to myself, telling myself that I need all of this to feel happy.  Perhaps I've been stealing happiness from others because I'm unhappy with less.  I may find myself lusting after "more"... I need to let it go.  Don't hoard.  Find happiness in just being.

"By the observance of aparigraha, the yogi makes his life as simple as possible and trains his mind not to feel the loss or lack of anything.  Then everything he really needs will come to him by itself at the proper time." - B.K.S. Iyengar, Light on Yoga