Are you afraid?

My children are deathly afraid of the dark.  This fear makes it very hard to "take care of business" during winter months, when the sun sets earliler than during other times of the year.  Neither of my kids will venture into a room where the lights are not turned on.  If we're out and return after 5pm to a dark home, they won't leave the foyer until the lights to the next room are turned on.  If I commence with cooking dinner, getting busy in the kitchen, and one of them needs to use the bathroom (which is on the second floor), they need me to stop what I'm doing, wash my hands of whatever food I'm preparing, and walk them upstairs.  They won't even agree to walking upstairs, turning on lights as they go.  I must escort them, lest a "Death Eater" (my older son is WAY into Harry Potter) or "Ghost" come and spirit them away.  In the modern age of energy conservation and environmental conscientiousness, it's pretty much ingrained in me that we can't leave lights on unless we are in that room, so I'm pretty much stuck with this station in life.  To be fair, this fear of the dark *does* work itself to my advantage.  If there is a room where I don't want my children to enter and make a mess, I just leave the lights off.  But overall, my life is inconvenienced by my children's fear.
Is fear justified?  As far as my children and the dark are concerned, yes.  This is despite the fact that my husband and I are vigilant about what these boys are exposed to.  Knowing that the 4th Harry Potter novel is far scarier than the first 3, I've been reticent about letting my older son delve in, despite protests that all his friends are reading it.  The boys haven't even seen Finding Nemo, we've sheltered them so much from "scary things".  Can it be conquered?  Ask the 7-and-under set - the answer is No Way.  Mom's help is needed.  But what about us grown ups - you know, those of us for whom "Mom" is no longer at beck-and-call?
When it comes to your yoga practice, what is it that you fear?  Is it something simple, like a challenging posture?  Are you afraid of flying in crow?  Are you fearful that your Ardho Chandrasana is going to land you on your face? 
Maybe you have no idea of what I'm talking about - let's address you neophytes:  are you afraid of trying yoga?  What is holding you back?  The beauty of yoga is that you take away from it what you want (unless what you want is a hard-driving sweaty workout.  Then again, we've got you covered with Bikram!).  There really is nothing to be afraid of.  It's not too girly (in fact, I'd venture to say that there were more men than women in the class I took with Heidy this morning...and the Tuesday night class I've been aiming to catch with Eileen always has at least 3 men who are regulars).  It's not too intense (there are modifications for every single posture).  Remember that it even took God 6 days to make Earth.  You're not going to fly in crow on the first day - you work up to every posture, honoring your body and respecting your intentions with each practice.  You'll get there.  And when you feel like you've "arrived", you realize that there's somewhere else to go with the posture.  Your practice is never finished. 
So maybe that's what you're afraid of - the fact that there is no "end" to yoga.  There's always somewhere else to take your practice.  When you think about it, that's nothing to be afraid of.  It's exciting that your relationship with Yoga is not going to reach a "dead end".  There's room for improvement, room for growth.  The longer you spend growing your practice, the more you appreciate it, and not that other's opinions should matter, you'll have more respect. 
In a practice last month, towards the end of the hour, the teacher guided us into crow.  I was game to try, knowing that I wasn't strong enough to hold the posture (which is a rather intense arm balance that also incorporates abdominal strength).  There were two women on mats behind me that scoffed at the thought: "Oh, there's no way...", but as I attempted the balance: "Oh, look, she might have it...oh, she doesn't...wait, maybe she's got it...ooops, nah".  Why weren't these women focused on their own practice?  Why weren't they attempting to conquer the pose?  The answers don't matter.  They were fearful of something, and they let their fears get in the way of trying.  And this, in turn, got them nowhere. 
So, the lesson to be learned here is to put things into perspective.  My kids need to put it into perspective that the dark is simply the absence of light.  The same things that are there in the light are there in the dark.  Conquering this (hopefully) will come with age.  Right now, they haven't much life experience, so the fear of the dark is understandable.  As we gain more experiences, we realize that certain aspects of life are left in the proverbial "dark" - there are things we can't see or understand.  Maybe we're not meant to understand them, maybe we need patience to deal with them.  Either way, give them time and patience, and the light may be turned on, hopefully conquering our fear.  Treat your yoga practice with the same perspective, and one by one, each posture will come to you.  It will be like turning on each light as you go upstairs to the second floor.

Thanks, Yoga Journal. Really...Thanks!

I'm not making excuses, but another reason I haven't blogged much lately is because Yoga Journal already does the work for me...AND delivers it straight to my inbox each day.  There are countless yoga teachers out there who write daily blogs far more knowledgeable (they have the 200+hour training to back it up!) and, dare I say it, just as entertaining as mine, and Yoga Journal culls them all, sending the best entries via email to anyone who signs up to subscribe to the posts.  They really are insightful, and many times they mention things that are worth sharing.  But, many times I also get too lazy to re-craft what the message is so I'm not a plagiarist, and I leave it.
One recent blog post however, read about it here, IS worthwhile mentioning.  It talks about our national obsession with 6-pack abs.   A recent perusal of the offerings in Target's fitness section had no fewer than 3 media offerings promising "fab abs" or "6-pack in 6-minutes" or "Flat abs diet".  It's enough to make any gal feel like a hopeless underachiever. 
My abs are not fab.  I don't spend 6 minutes a day on them, and my diet certainly isn't helping the matter.  While I miraculously have few stretch marks, the skin is less-than-taut, thanks to carrying 2 babies full-term (healthy, chubby 8 pounders, each!).  I never, even way back when, was skinny or "slim" (in fact, I think I weigh less now than I did when I was a Senior in HS), so I've always had a tummy, and I've ALWAYS been self-conscious about it.  The article gave me some hope.

This article explains that a 6-pack of abs might not be "healthy" (say WHAT?).   Sure it looks good, but all of that muscle bulk gets in the way of flexibility.  Hey, that's good news!  What we should be after is "strength" - a strong core that helps support your spine, shoulders, and head - and that is not necessarily what you get with 3 rows and 2 columns of perfectly chiseled muscle.  Sounds contradictory, right?  Not so.  The article explains that chronically tight abdominal muscles are not any healthier than chronically tight hamstrings or back muscles.  Ouch.  Furthermore, women can suffer estrogen loss and bone weakness if they lose enough fat to give that chiseled abdominal look.  Huh.  Turns out it's actually normal and better for women to have a little extra padding in the middle.
Instead, aim for a strong core that permits flexibility and movement.  Practice yoga poses that engage all of your abdominal muscles to help you gain this flexibility - and there are a host of postures that will do this!  The author is not saying (and I agree) that we should all give up and resort to a doughy middle - doing so can increase the risk of maladies such as heart disease and diabetes - but we should have different priorities when it comes to the appearance of our bodies.  Basically, it's not about appreciating how it looks.  It's about appreciating what it can do.
So, thanks, YJ (actually blogger Fernando Ruiz), for doing the work for me about this insecurity-inducing issue, but most of all, THANKS for helping me feel better about the lack of tone going on in my own mid-section.

Be accepting.  Accept your faults, accept your weaknesses - they are just as important as your strengths.

Do we need a resolution?

It's been a while...3 1/2 months to be exact.  There's no reason for my departure, other than sheer laziness.  I mean, I didn't exactly have anything profound to say in the last 3 months.  It's not like I have anything profound to say now, but I've only had small ideas on my mind.  I didn't have the time or the inspiration to develop them into "blog-worthy" ideas.  It takes a lot of effort (usually late at night, after the kids are asleep, papers are graded, and the lesson is squared away for the next day), and there are a lot of things I'd rather do with my time.  Things like talk with my husband, watch a little TV, read a magazine, another chapter of my book, shave my legs, polish my nails, catch a few ZZZs myself.  Instead, I found myself folding laundry, vacuuming, utilizing all the "de-cluttering" ideas from said magazines, and trying to keep up with homelife in general.  This left precious little time (and motivation) for blogging.

However, more than a few times since 2012 began, I found a situation pop up that made me think "Hey, that would make a good blog post!".  It seems like so many people in my life are unhappy or worried these days.  People at work are disappointed with their students' efforts or are worn-down from the inconsistent messages we get from administration.  People in town are divided over the school budget and the best way to deal with the projected shortfall and supposed lack-of-rigor in our maths program.   People all over are arguing over presidential politics.  People on Facebook just seem to be bitter and hopeless (I'll shamefully admit to having been snarky once or twice).  There are so many battles that we all seem to be fighting - and when I do mindless household chores (the grown-up version of a "thinking chair"), I inevitably find myself coming up with the realization that so many yogic teachings can help us to better deal with these battles.  Only, I'd end up making a mental note, and get on with my tasks, only to forget it or lose inspiration later. 

Once that calendar makes the flip from December to January (although as far as the universe is concerned, it's just Earth beginning another trip around the sun!), it's only natural for people to start contemplating the potential that the new year holds.  Maybe make a few resolutions; "promises" to yourself to make something better in the year ahead. 

I, myself, never bother to make any resolutions.  It's not that I don't think there's room for improvement in my life.  I have the same 5 (or this year, it seems to be 10) pounds that everyone else has to lose.  I need to be more conscientious about the way I use our resources (money included!).  I really should be more forgiving of my own faults so that I'm better able to forgive the faults of others.  But I have never seen the point of making resolute promises that EVERY single bit of research shows rarely lasts beyond 3 months.  I'm not without the need to improve, but I suppose I am a bit of a defeatest.  Why start something that I know I'm not going to finish?  A year, afterall, is a loooooong 365 days when you have to cut something out (like spending, or drinking, or eating, or gossiping)

With yoga, I find that I have a chance to make not a yearly resolution, but a DAILY resolution.  It's much easier to to live with an intention for a day.  Whenever I'm on my mat, I know I have 20 minutes, 45 minutes, an hour, or however long I give myself to just breathe.  I can forget about the things that are troubling me.  They aren't going anywhere, they'll be right there when I'm done - BUT after an extended time of deep breathing and stretching out my limbs,effectively wringing out even the most deeply-seated stress, I know I'll be better equipped to handle what life throws at me.  At the start of a practice, I can make even the simplist intention, mediate on it for the entire session, and finish up knowing that I can deal with that "daily resolution" for the next 24 hours or until the next time I find myself on the mat.

So yes, there are many things I need to work on in the year ahead.  I have my work cut out for me if I only set out to undo the damage I did in 2011 before I even think about making things better in 2012.  But will making a resolution help?  I don't think it really will.  I think I just need to be more mindful of the world around me - set an intention each day to look at the bigger picture, and notice that I'm merely one brush-stroke in the beautiful painting.  The way my brushstroke mingles and interacts with all the other strokes is what gives the painting it's beauty.  I see something in myself and recognize that I'm a small part of something much, much bigger than me. This is what yoga is about, and this is what I want to share with whoever will listen (or read).  It's not a "resolution", but it is something that gives me purpose as I go forward with writing my blog and sharing my yoga journey with you.  Namaste.

Let your body be graceful on the mat, be gracious in dealing with others, appreciate and honor the grace within them.