Book Review: Poser

2 weeks ago, I took my kids to the library afterschool as an "outing".  Yes, I've been so busy lately that the bar is set really low for what passes as "an outing".  The joke is that my younger son thinks the library is where we go to rent DVDs, and my older son likes to get Star Wars graphic novels.  Neither of which quite fit the bill for what I have in mind when visiting the library.  Anyway, while the boys were hunting for their choices, I decided to peruse the "new releases" section.  This is a complete joke, because new releases are typically 2 week loans with no renewal, and anyone who knows me would realize that I have ZERO chance of finishing a book in 2 weeks.  BUT, I saw this book, and it just spoke to me.  Was I a "poser"?  I practice yoga (infrequently), I write a yoga blog (even less frequently!), I can get into 23 different postures (I think).  I borrowed...
So, Claire Dederer, the author, is from Washington (state, not DC), is a journalist and a person who found a mode of "escaping" through yoga.  I think this is why a lot of people turn to yoga.  They are looking for meaning in some area of their lives, and yoga, with it's mysticism and contradictions, makes one feel less confuddled and more capable of coping.  Claire had some issues left unresolved, and her journey on the mat helps her cope, discover new things about herself, and just plain old "deal".  She's up against a northwest neo-hippie culture where you're not a good enough mother unless you puree your own organic babyfood, co-sleep, and nurse your baby until he's nursery school age.  That kind of maternal pressure is crazy - it seems enough to make any mother feel insufficient!  I joyfully nursed my kids well into their first year, but God, when that was done, I was SO ready to have my own body back!  On top of this, she was dealing with insecurities from needing to work, needing to support her husband as he dealt with insecurities about supporting his family as a journalist, complications from when her daughter was first born, and dealing with a strange parental dynamic (her parents were married, but not living together, as her mother had a live-in boyfriend for the last 20 years or so).  Yoga was her escape. 
I returned the book to the library today, only about 30% of the way through.  I have to say that I didn't give the book a fair shake.  It was interesting to read about the progression of Claire's practice, but I couldn't relate.  I felt like an insufficient mother just reading about what Claire went through to prove herself a "good" mother/wife/daughter/sister.  Jeez.  Several times I had to put the book down, step back, and ask myself if this is what it was really about.  I work full-time and look with envy at my peers who are able to stay at home and be fantastic mothers to their children, "effortlessly" keep in shape, eat well, do proper outings, and keep an active social life.  If this is what it's really all about, I'm doing a piss-poor job of keeping up!  I don't need that kind of reminder that I'm not as awesome as the rest of 'em...so yeah, I didn't finish the book.
Claire had problems to cope with in her life...not on the mat, and this book was more about the coping and less about the posing.  Seeking time on the mat was her release, as it is for me, and I didn't feel motivated to read her book to find out more, especially when it made me feel like more of a loser than I needed to feel.
Suffice it to say, I know all about turning to the mat to work things out.  Even with this, however, maybe when the book goes off the "new release" shelf, I may return to it to finish reading this summer (typically when I have more time to read!).

Life is a bridge.  Cross over it, but build no bridge upon it. - Indian proverb