Book Review: Poser

2 weeks ago, I took my kids to the library afterschool as an "outing".  Yes, I've been so busy lately that the bar is set really low for what passes as "an outing".  The joke is that my younger son thinks the library is where we go to rent DVDs, and my older son likes to get Star Wars graphic novels.  Neither of which quite fit the bill for what I have in mind when visiting the library.  Anyway, while the boys were hunting for their choices, I decided to peruse the "new releases" section.  This is a complete joke, because new releases are typically 2 week loans with no renewal, and anyone who knows me would realize that I have ZERO chance of finishing a book in 2 weeks.  BUT, I saw this book, and it just spoke to me.  Was I a "poser"?  I practice yoga (infrequently), I write a yoga blog (even less frequently!), I can get into 23 different postures (I think).  I borrowed...
So, Claire Dederer, the author, is from Washington (state, not DC), is a journalist and a person who found a mode of "escaping" through yoga.  I think this is why a lot of people turn to yoga.  They are looking for meaning in some area of their lives, and yoga, with it's mysticism and contradictions, makes one feel less confuddled and more capable of coping.  Claire had some issues left unresolved, and her journey on the mat helps her cope, discover new things about herself, and just plain old "deal".  She's up against a northwest neo-hippie culture where you're not a good enough mother unless you puree your own organic babyfood, co-sleep, and nurse your baby until he's nursery school age.  That kind of maternal pressure is crazy - it seems enough to make any mother feel insufficient!  I joyfully nursed my kids well into their first year, but God, when that was done, I was SO ready to have my own body back!  On top of this, she was dealing with insecurities from needing to work, needing to support her husband as he dealt with insecurities about supporting his family as a journalist, complications from when her daughter was first born, and dealing with a strange parental dynamic (her parents were married, but not living together, as her mother had a live-in boyfriend for the last 20 years or so).  Yoga was her escape. 
I returned the book to the library today, only about 30% of the way through.  I have to say that I didn't give the book a fair shake.  It was interesting to read about the progression of Claire's practice, but I couldn't relate.  I felt like an insufficient mother just reading about what Claire went through to prove herself a "good" mother/wife/daughter/sister.  Jeez.  Several times I had to put the book down, step back, and ask myself if this is what it was really about.  I work full-time and look with envy at my peers who are able to stay at home and be fantastic mothers to their children, "effortlessly" keep in shape, eat well, do proper outings, and keep an active social life.  If this is what it's really all about, I'm doing a piss-poor job of keeping up!  I don't need that kind of reminder that I'm not as awesome as the rest of 'em...so yeah, I didn't finish the book.
Claire had problems to cope with in her life...not on the mat, and this book was more about the coping and less about the posing.  Seeking time on the mat was her release, as it is for me, and I didn't feel motivated to read her book to find out more, especially when it made me feel like more of a loser than I needed to feel.
Suffice it to say, I know all about turning to the mat to work things out.  Even with this, however, maybe when the book goes off the "new release" shelf, I may return to it to finish reading this summer (typically when I have more time to read!).

Life is a bridge.  Cross over it, but build no bridge upon it. - Indian proverb

Commitment?

Oh boy! It's sure been a while since I've posted!  My readership has dwindled to nothing, and I have no one to blame but myself.  It's been a rather busy (and soggy!)  month, May has.  For one, I've been in the throes of helping to plan my HS reunion.  I don't live near my hometown anymore and we're having a "destination" (but still within driving distance for most of us) reunion, so that involves lots of emails, phonecalls, and behind-the-scenes planning.  That, coupled with an event I planned at work along with 2 projects I've been working on with my students, my son's Little League games, and Husband's travels for work, I'm left with very little time for practicing yoga, let along blogging about it.

But, my dear reader(s), Summer is on the horizon, and brings with it the prospect of lots and lots of time on the mat for me!  It's going to be great, it's going to be fulfilling, and I'm sure I'll find it very renewing.  In preparation for all of this, I figured it was time to "renew" myself with home practice.

Husband and I thought we were done with middle of the night interruptions, but for some reason (maybe molars are coming in), our 4 year old has decided that he needs to put in an appearance in the middle of the night again.  Most of the time, we can snuggle for a minute before walking him back to his own bed and then resume our own visits to Dreamland.  Sometimes, though, these visits happen around 5 am, at which point, it's hardly worth it to fall back asleep, knowing we just need to get up "for real" a mere hour later.  On such occasions, I tend to throw in the towel and just get on with the day, and sometimes I'm motivated enough to unroll the ole' yellow mat and do a short DVD practice. 

These occasions are not reliable enough to make a commitment to my mat, though, so I've devised another way to get myself on the mat more often.  At the start of May, I pledged to do 5 Sun Saluations every day.  Usually these Sun Salutations are the last thing I do before bed at night, but I'm getting them in.  I'm honoring my commitment, and while they'd more aptly be named "moon salutations", I'm still doing *something* to keep my body informed of proper form and flow.  I'm sure this commitment is going to pay off when I'm back in that first class of the summer.  I'll be better equipped to make it 1/2 of the way through class, rather than only 1/4.  Yes, I'm sure some "beginner" classes will be needed to really refresh my muscle memory, but because of my Salutation commitment, it won't be nearly as painful. 

So, here's my flow for my "Daily 5", in case you'd like to join me:

Series 1 thru 4:

Mountain pose.  Swan dive down with straight legs to touch the floor/ankles.  Look out into the world ("monkey pose").  Standing forward bend.  First leg back to lunge.  Second leg back to plank.  Lower down into Chaturanga.  Swoop up to Upward facing dog.  Roll back to Downward facing dog. First leg forward to lunge, followed by second foot forward to standing forward bend.  Swan Dive up.

Series 5:

Mountain pose, Swan dive down, look out into the world, standing forward bend, hop both legs back to plank.  Chaturanga, Updog, Downdog.  Hop forward to standing forward bend.  Swan dive up.

Basically, it's 2 Sun Salutations starting on the right side, 2 Sun Salutations starting on the left side, and just to stay balanced (ie, not one side is starting more than the other) and challenge myself, I hop back on the last Salutation.  Totally manageable, and takes less than 5 minutes.  That's a commitment I think anyone can get behind.  Even a yoga slacker (shameful, considering I write a blog about it!) like me.

Upcoming post:  Do you have a goal for your summer practice?  Is there a posture you'll be working on, a mantra you'll be developing, a philosophy you'll be meditating on, a 5-Sun Salutation daily commitment?  I'd love to hear about it for an upcoming post...feel free to comment below!

Persist - "It's never too late to become what you might have been" - George Eliot