Gratitude

See that word over there? <---  It means "contentment" - something that I think I will be struggling with for a very long time.  Then again, what life is there without struggle?  Does struggle make life worth living?  Such a silly question, because I can think of many people who struggle a whole lot more that I do, and does that make their life worth more than mine?  I know a great many people who seem to struggle a whole let less than I do, and I'm pretty sure it doesn't make their life worth less.  I think the question I mean to ask is "what is a life without struggle?"  Is it a life with contentment?  But that's what I'm struggling with!  ...Aha, you begin to see my conundrum...
Nonetheless, sometimes things don't quite go the way I plan them (and as a working mom with 2 small children, there is often a carefully orchestrated plan in place to make sure kids get where they need to be, house cleaned, groceries shopped, laundry done, doctors appointments made, general house upkeep, etc).  When the plan fails, it's so easy to get upset, to get worked up, to get frustrated.  It takes a great amount of humility to stop and be grateful for those times when the plan actually *does* go right.  In fact, when the plan does go right, I, personally, don't stop and take a moment to express gratitude for that.  Perhaps I should...
On Monday, my older boy started his full-day summer camp.  Prior to this week, he had only been doing an activity that lasted from 8am to 10am.  My younger son has camp from 9am to noon.  What this meant was that I had only a 1-hour kid-free window to do whatever it was that needed doing.  That's not a whole lot of time.  Now, I have a 3-hour window, which opens up a world of possibilities!  Or so I thought.  I, of course, wanted to squeeze in some studio yoga classes, but by the time I drive the half-hour to the studio, take the hour and 15 minute class, and drive home for another half hour, it leaves me with 45 minutes to do whatever.  Not nearly enough time.
Huh?  I had a 1 hour window where I was too rushed to do anything, and suddenly I have a 3 hour window, and it's still not enough time?!?  I was in the studio class on Monday morning, on my mat, feeling disgruntled that by the time class was over and I drove home, I wouldn't have enough time to do any other errands.  Then it dawned on me that I wasn't feeling gratitude for the time I did have.  I made the choice to spend my time on the mat - and while my to-do list wasn't getting any shorter  - the dry cleaning wasn't getting picked up, the phone calls weren't getting made, the fresh groceries for dinner weren't being bought, I could rationalize that I was choosing to spend my time on the mat.  Time well-spent, if you ask ANY yogi!
(actually, in retrospect, a calm, relaxed and centered Mommy is quite a positive accomplishment for any family!  Count your blessings, boys!)
I often find myself telling my children: "Be thankful for the things you actually do have, do not cry for the things you don't have"  This often comes up when one brother gets a perceived "treat" that the other brother does not (ie, one gets more time on the iPad, or eats dessert at a slower pace so it seems like he had a larger serving, etc).  My reflections on Monday led me to realize that I would do well to take my own advice.  I think if I took pause and remembered to be grateful more often, then my life might begin to come closer to "contentment"

Ask inwardly for guidance, and listen for a reply - Erich Schiffmann