Getting discouraged

I haven't practiced asana in quite some time...and boy do I need it.  The Northeast was hammered with snow two nights ago, and I bundled up and did about 3 hours of hard-core shoveling.  My forearms and shoulders are paying the price...and instead of stretching it out with some yoga, I popped tylenol instead.  It works to ease the soreness...but does n-o-t-h-i-n-g  for the agitated mental state I'm in.

Yes, it's stressful to deal with so much snow.  It's stressful to try and catch up with everything after the weather delays...and it's stressful to try and keep things going. Since the start of the year, I've had my pet die, my car all but die (lovely new car ensued, along with it's "lovely", stressful car payments), I've had my in-laws visiting for 5 weeks (and still one more week to go!), I'm planning a birthday party for my soon to be 4 year old (and I'm in denial that he's getting older), and this is before I remind you that I'm not the only person living in my household (Husband and both boys have their own troubles/stresses/unhappy moments thrown into the mix).  

I can feel the scowl forming on my face as I'm driving to work.  I know I'm being impatient, maybe even a bit of a jerk, as I blast my horn because someone is sitting at a green light.  Or stopping in the middle of the street to drop a kid off at school (in reality, there's a 6 foot high snow bank on the shoulder where they should normally pull over...but still.  You *really* think it's safe and considerate to stop in the middle of the street to drop  a kid off?). 

I know a good yoga practice will help...I know it deep down in my bones.  And I look at my overbooked schedule, and find that there's no time in the near future that I can get there.  This sad fact makes the frown lines even deeper.  I know I should make the time to practice at home with one of my lovely DVDs...or even a Yoga Journal sequence (the magazine has been recommending some nice challenges the last two months)...and I always put it off:  "Oh, I'll do yoga after I've cleaned up" (I'm living with 3 boys - and 2 visiting in-laws - so we all know "cleaning up" is never finished).  "I'll put in the DVD when the kids go to bed" (and then I'm so exhausted that I fall asleep with them).  "I'll do it on Saturday morning before everyone gets up" (and the kids wake up at 6).  Easy to be discouraged, right? 
Luckily, I have my Yogi Tea every morning with a cute little message on the tea bag tag to keep me in the right frame of mind:

"Be kind and compassionate and the whole world will be your friend"

I don't know if I need the whole world to be my friend, but I know I'll be quite a bit happier by the reactions I'll get if I'm more kind and compassionate.

Busy week, quick post!

  I know that I usually offer up a Pose of the Week on Tuesdays, but it's been very busy and hectic in this neck of the woods, and I haven't done proper research on a pose for this week. 

I also didn't want to leave you hanging, dear readers, so I just wanted to make a quick post!  There are more things to come...I have a few DVDs to re-visit/review for you, some conversations to start, some more "Yoga Fashions", maybe a little giveaway in the near future, and of course, more poses of the week!  If there are things you'd like to see featured on the blog, please feel free to leave a comment (or two).  Who knows what conversations YOU might generate ;)

For now, in light of everything going on and the general craziness of life, I have some yogic wisdom (from my tea bag tag) to share.  I found it timely:

You must know that you can swim through every change of tide.

Yes, everyday the tides are changing, and while I may be doing the doggie paddle for some, you'll find me attempting to swim through every single one! 

Namaste.

Regrets after practice?

What a week! I don't even know where to begin to explain the huge emotional rollercoaster I'm on this week...and I'm not quite sure anyone would even care *that* much, because all of our journeys take us on rides like this every once in a while. Suffice it to say, that one of the ways I "deal" is to take it to the mat. My experiences on the mat were definitely high points this week - especially my elusive treat of time with Diann ♥ on Saturday! The only thing is that I have a slight feeling of regret. I'll elaborate...

Have you ever experienced a feeling of regret after a practice? Maybe a favorite asana was left out, perhaps your pranayama (breathing) was only half-hearted, maybe you wish the class was a bit longer, or perhaps your focus just wasn't there. These things happen, and while they cause regret, the sooner your get yourself back on the mat, the sooner the feeling of regret will fade.

I've experienced all of these feelings and a whole host of others after a practice, but this time my feeling of regret is from something new. At the start of practice, Diann said we'd be working on standing balances, and while I'm not terribly confident at these, I thought "This is going to be good for me!", and I was ready for anything. Well, almost anything, it seems, because at the end of practice, Diann invited us to take a supported handstand, and I didn't do it. I feel like such a fraud - after WEEKS of offering inversions for my Pose of the Week (handstand noticeably absent, BTW), I'm invited to take an inversion, and I don't do it.

Why didn't I do it? Was it fear? Was it exhaustion (emotional from my week/physical from Diann's practice)? Was it because I had an "option"? Was it *gasp* stubbornness? It doesn't matter, really. I didn't do it, and I'm disappointed in myself.

So what to do? Get right back on that mat. Build up some strength in the arms. Try out some of the preparation postures that Diann gave throughout practice (a foreshadowing of what was coming - I should have seen it!). Get my legs up that wall! And hang out there for a while, getting used to seeing my crazy week from a different angle. At the very least, I'll build some courage to tackle what the next week offers, and at the very best, I'll squash my regret.

Don't let regret get in the way. Get out there and conquer!

POW! (Pose of the Week)

POW! This week's pose: Viparita Karani - because it's time to restore some normalcy. Aren't you tired of being inverted? This is my last posture in my series on Inversions. I've been offering inverted poses for quite a while, and I thought it would be nice to end the series with this gentle, restorative posture. Many experienced teachers swear by this posture, claiming it will cure all ailments. I don't make any promises about that, but I do promise if you spend some time in this posture, you'll feel a whole lot better than you did before you entered!

It's hard to dislike Legs-up-the-wall pose. It gives you a chance to quiet your mind and relieve some stress and anxiety. It doesn't seem like you're doing much because it's not an active posture, but you are going to diminish the fatigue in your legs, prevent varicose veins (win!), soothe the nervous system and offer relief from backache/headache/insomnia. It will also noticeably increase the circulation, as your fluids start flowing in the opposite way they traditionally flow. After a minute or two in Viparita Karani, you'll feel your worries and stress melt away, and sometimes a prop or two can enhance this sensation (note the eye pillow and bolster in the photo above - two props which I regrettably don't own)

It is rather easy to come into this posture, and it makes a lovely alternative to savasana at the end of your practice. It also is a lovely posture to visit at the end of a l-o-n-g day or anytime you feel you need a few minutes break. The longer you're in posture, the more of it's restorative properties you'll benefit from! Sit sideways against a wall, with either your right or left hip touching the wall. Lean back and rest your weight on your hands as you swivel your hips and bring your feet up the wall. Keep your rear end as close to the wall as possible and lie down on your back. You can rest a folded blanket or bolster at your lumbar spine to assist with relaxation. Close your eyes and rest with your arms to the sides - breathe softly and evenly. Relax.

No matter the kind of week you've had, you can always benefit from a little restoration!

Yoga Fashion - "bottoms"

Does "Fashion" really have a place on a yoga blog? Well.....sort of. I mean, we can't all be like Kathryn Budig and practice in the nude, so we've got to wear *something*. I don't think anyone is coming to their mat with the intention of impressing anyone with his/her wardrobe, but a yogi does want to be as comfortable as possible, and wouldn't want his/her garments to restrict efforts on the mat in any way. And maybe looking good will motivate you to get yourself on that mat!

As any gym-goer knows, workout clothes run the gamut from tight-fitting to loose & flowing, from low-cost to high-priced, from subdued coloring to wild and bright, and now even low-tech to high-tech! (I know it's not technically something you "wear", but did anyone see the new yoga mat from Gaiam, with the speaker port to plug in your iPod? Awesome, but probably best for home practice!)

So, I've been practicing yoga for several years now, so I have accumulated quite the collection of clothes, but I'm always on the prowl for new things. Also, sometimes I am stuck running errands before or after class, so I like to have things that look acceptable to be out and about in. And yes, "matching" is pretty high up on my list of priorities when purchasing yoga-wear!

This week, I thought I would focus on "bottoms". I usually wear long yoga pants (bootcut fit), and have several different brands. I have a couple of comfortable pants from Target (that I got for $25 or less!), in black and gray, that are pretty much my standbys. The fabric is not too thick, not too think, has plenty of spandex for stretch, but are also loose enough for a flattering drape. I also have a pair from the Gap's new "GapFit" line. Meh. They were around $35, and stylish with a foldover waist, but I don't love them because they are a teeny bit too long, and with the bootcut leg, the extra fabric (mostly cotton with a little spandex so they don't sag) can sometimes get in the way. I also have a grayish-teal pair from Athleta - their "Chaturanga bootfit", and while they are comfortable, the fabric is really heavy (reminds me of a cottony wetsuit), so I usually reserve them for cold-weather practice. I thought the color would be versatile, but it really isn't, so they don't match many of the tops I own. I know, I know, I'm not going there to impress anyone with my sense of style, but I still like to match ;) Athleta's pants are mid-priced ($50-$60), but because they are a partner store with the Gap, I can order online and use Gap rewards and discounts I accumulate, and get them for less!

For summertime, I still like to wear lighter-weight long pants, but I have a pair of capris and a couple of pairs of shorts and one skort. The skort is from Target, and is basically useless. I hardly ever wear it. Good thing it was from Target and didn't cost an arm or a leg! The capris are from Athleta in a lovely seal-gray color, and match with a LOT, but they have the same issue as my long pants from Athleta: the fabric is heavy and while it definitely stretches, it feels restrictive (ie, gives me "muffintop" at the waist), so I don't wear them often.

I am very curious to try the pants offered by Lucy, HardTail, and Lululemon, but they are really expensive ($80+), and I don't know if I'm ready to drop that kind of money on yoga pants - I don't even spend that on jeans, people. Maybe they'll last FOREVER, and the price will be worth it, but maybe the fabric will be thick like my Athleta pants, and I may be reticent to use them.

And then I get an email for this: http://www.lillypulitzer.com/women/active-shop/icat/active/&bklist=icat,4,shop,sportswear,active Really, Lilly? Really? You're not exactly known for "workout wear", so I can't imagine your $88 yoga pants are really going to be the best ones on the block for that price range. A colorful shift to show off my efforts on the mat? Yes. Stretchy, but cute (I'll give 'em that) black pants for being on the mat? I think that I may be thinking too much about how much the pants cost me to focus on my practice.

So, what do you wear on the mat? Maybe you l-o-v-e your lululemon's and think everyone should own at least one pair. Maybe your Target pants are aces. And maybe those Lilly pants do end up doing the job, after all! Please share and give your recommendations!

Fashionista tendencies aside, the most important transformation in yoga is the change that happens within!

Yoga Props

Yoga props are tools that assist you in your practice. Props usually are designed to help with proper alignment, and many can help to ease you into challenging poses - you know, those postures which you haven't quite nailed yet...if only your arms were 2 inches longer (Hello, marichyasana!) I also think props can be used to help motivate you in your practice - Who wouldn't feel better about doing yoga if you knew using a strap would help you conquer that challenging pose?!? Sometimes, though, even the silliest things can help to motivate you - a candle, music, a scent, an accessory - and I would consider these props, as well.

Hanging out in my little yoga "nook" of our Family room, I have a variety of props that help with my practice. I thought it would be fun to share them with you:

- My mat. My #1 yoga prop. I've mentioned before that I have a bright yellow mat. I love my yellow mat - sure, it's a color associated with the Solar Plexus Chakra, and is supposed to assist with the positive use of power and help one to achieve goals, but that's not why I chose it! Now that I analyze the Chakras, perhaps yellow is the right color for me to have (personality traits: Good-humored, optimistic, confident, practical, and intellectual), but I chose my mat because it is the right thickness for me and it has 5 subtle white, perpendicular stripes on it. These stripes are positioned at the perfect distance for me, and they help me with alignment during my practice! Lines 1 and 5? The perfect distance for wide stances like Down dog. Lines 2 and 4? Good for medium-leg stances like Triangle and Warrior. Lines 2 and 3 are good for hip-width stances. My mat is old, though, and it's wearing out, and I am having a very hard time finding a replacement. They just don't make 'em like they used to!

- Blocks. I do have a few foam blocks. They are purple, and they have bite marks in them from when my boys were younger and teething. I like the little bite marks because they help me to know which blocks are mine in a crowded studio, but they are also a reminder of growth - my practice has grown (I don't use my blocks often anymore - except to support my torso during a 5 minute Chaturanga with Diann!!! ), and my children certainly continue to grow!

- Strap. Another prop that I keep stashed in my mat bag, but rarely use. I should definitely use it more often, because I'm sure it would help me in that elusive Marichyasana! I used to need it to help grasp my hands behind my back, but as my practice has grown, I've needed the strap less and less. You can get straps and blocks here --> www.gaiam.com

On to less obvious props:

- Badger Balm. I saw this little tin at the Cracker Barrel restaurant near my parents' house, of all places. In fact, they had bins filled with various kinds of Badger Balm...for just about any ailment you could think of. I'll admit it: this wasn't the only balm I bought that day...but it IS the only one I stash in my yoga bag. I think this is a fun little prop. The balm has a waxy texture that is beeswax-based, and it has a lovely little meditative scent. The Badger Balm company website says that it's "an ancient blend to calm, center & balance your inner badger." Now I don't know if there's a badger living inside of me, but when I dab a little of this on the inside of my wrists before practice, it's a nice little scent to look forward to when I'm in downward dog. It's not overpowering, and as you warm up during your practice, so does the balm, releasing it's subtle fragrance that shouldn't bother the yogi on the next mat (too much). http://www.badgerbalm.com/

- Candles. Burning candles just sort of "go" with yoga. The unpredictable flicker of the flame can calm you and also remind you that even nature is unstable, so if you lose balance or your limbs are "unpredictable" in a posture, so is your candle, and you can come right back into posture. The candles I've pictured here are wonderful little handpoured gems. Made by a small company in Texas, they are soy-based and burn for-ev-er (ie, the slightly higher price is definitely warranted). The scents are all delightful, but my favorite for yoga practice is Vanilla Chai. http://www.simplyhenry.com/

Props are great for studio or home practice (it's a little hard to bring your own candles into the studio...). I have a variety of other props, but for now, I think I'll save them for another post. In the meantime, I'm curious to know about the interesting props you use! Feel free to comment and share. You never know if your prop could be an inspiration for a fellow yogi!

You will feel fulfillment when you do the impossible for someone else.

POW! - Pose of the Week

This week's pose: Crow - because we're not quite done with inversions!

Well, a lot has happened since I last posted a Pose of the Week for you. There was Christmas (totally ate too much!), there was New Year's (totally drank too much!), there were 3 sessions of Bikram (totally sweat too much!), and now here we are - finishing up my series on inversions. Before you think that I've totally inverted you too much, Bakasana (known as Crow or Crane) is only technically an inversion because your hips are above your head. Whenever I find myself in Crow, I don't think of it as an inversion so much as a balancing act!

Bakasana is a fun little arm balance which strengthens your wrists, forearms and abs (OH yes, you will feel your abs in this little pose - it's unwittingly half of the posture. If you aren't using your abs to support your core, there is no way you'll find yourself in Crow/Crane). This posture also improves your digestion (ahem, c-o-r-e-!-!) and opens your hips and back.

There are a lot of ways to get into this arm balance. Each time I am in class and an instructor shows a new variation on settling into this posture, I get psyched that I'll finally find the secret to Crow. I'll finally be able to fly. I'll finally be able to nail it. Then I get into the posture, and see how much of it involves the abs, and I'm just not as well "developed" in that region, so I can't hold the posture for long.

This past Wednesday, I was able to squeeze in one of Josh's classes, and how pleased was I that he directed us into Crow towards the end of the class, especially given my dissatisfaction with my Bikram sessions?!? It was great! (I dedicate this post to my bestie Liz, by the way. I remember when she shared that she had held crow for a few seconds and it felt so great. We all have had a similar feeling throughout our practices, so we all know she deserves to have that effort honored!)

So, this is how Josh brought us into Bakasana: We started with feel hip-distance apart, and began with a squat. Once comfortably in our squats, we placed our hands on the floor in front of us, with our elbows pressing against our inner knees. Using the elbows to press the knees apart while using the knees to hug the elbows together, we had to engage our abs in order to lift our toes off of the floor. One leg up was an achievement, but both legs up was quite the accomplishment! Yes, I nailed the posture for precisely 3.5 seconds - but I did it! And it felt like flying!

Will you go flying this week? Give it a try...you just might take off with a whole lot of grace!

Whether you give or share, are kind or not, never let your grace fail.

Bikram - parts 2 and 3...

Happy 2011, friends!

It was very revealing to me as I read Facebook updates over the course of the last week to see SO many friends lamenting that 2010 was less than great for them. Maybe I've been burying my head in the sand, but I honestly didn't think 2010 was all that bad. It wasn't fantastic, but I can't say that I was sooooooooooo ready for it to be over, like many people apparently were. Nonetheless, time passes, and at the stroke of midnight last night, we embarked on a new decade. Let's see what this chance to begin again will bring...

I didn't make any resolutions. I don't usually make them, but I at least *think* about them - even though they inevitable turn out to be empty promises. This year I didn't even pretend. Sure, I'd like to maintain my health, approach my life with gratitude, be more compassionate towards others with whom I share this planet, and try to view the world with more understanding, but none of these things need to be "resolved" at the drop of a Swarovski-encrusted ball. I've felt the need to do these things since I've been spending time on a mat every now and then. I've NOT felt the need to do these things through my Bikram practice, however, and I've finally decided that's what bugs me about Bikram (ha ha! I bet you were wondering when I'd get around to the subject that the title of my post alludes to!!!). Here's my statement about it: Bikram is for people who don't like yoga.

Since my "Bikram-Part 1" post, I've visited the 100 degree studio twice more, and boy, did I get put through my paces. I sweat my butt off, was most definitely challenged by a hard workout (each time I get the "I just got my ass handed to me" feeling), but definitely didn't get the right kind of post-yoga glow that I yearn for. I got a glow, alright - my face was beat red - but I haven't yet left the Bikram studio with a kinder feeling towards man-kind. I've never left with a generosity of spirit. There is literally no time for a meditative experience - hell, you're not even allowed to close your eyes as you breathe deeply.

I've experienced 3 different teachers, and while they put their subtle stamps on the practice, because it is a sequence of 26 poses for a specific amount of time, and the instructor talks for the entire 90 minutes, there really isn't any leeway. No customization. No moments where they inspire you to feel gratitude for what your body is able to accomplish. No chances for you to appreciate your own spirit and honor the practice. You are in a room with other people, and the instructor reminds you that you are all practicing as one. You can't be the weak link in the chain, otherwise you will be letting everyone else down. You have to push, push, push and make it through. Hold the pose for 60 seconds. Don't close your eyes. Don't leave the room. You start as one, you must finish as one. I guess if that sort of "drill sargeant" mentality is your thing, you might appreciate this sort of workout, but that's not why I love or practice yoga.

Yes, you sweat, but as I mentioned before, you aren't sweating because it was super-yoga - the 26 postures, honestly, aren't that challenging as far as yoga postures go. You are sweating buckets because the room is heated to 100 degrees. You feel sore and tired the next day because you exercised in a 100 degree room. If you think about it, you could sweep the floor in a 100 degree room, sweat your ass off and feel sore and tired the next day. In between my 2nd and 3rd tries, I took a regular 60 minute class with Josh, and it had to be the best thing I did all week ♥ I left feeling happy, I left feeling proud of my body, I left feeling grateful for having the time and good fortune to practice with Josh...and you know what, I even left feeling a little sweaty ;)

So, the second time I did Bikram, I was a trooper and got up to make it to the 6:30 am class - I figured if I just got up and got the workout out of the way, I'd have the whole day to do other things. I was one of 4 students. The other 3 students, were obviously regulars, as the instructor knew them by name and had a familiar banter with them, and I really felt like I was holding them back because I was "new". There was intense pressure to "keep up". Disclosure: the pressure was TOTALLY self-imposed. The instructor kept speaking to me and individualizing the instruction, which is what a good instructor is supposed to do, but as a long-time yogi, I didn't need explanation as to what Triangle pose or head-of-the-knee pose are. I just needed a little patience because I was getting used to these poses in the heat. But there just seems like there is no time for patience due to the nature of the 26 posture sequence. I made it through, attempted every single posture, and left with a sense of amazement that the other three people there apparently do this on a regular basis.

The third time, I once again found myself in a class of 30+ people (apparently, the classes this week were fuller than normal due to the extra holiday time off people had). I did a morning class...but a more respectable 9:30, and the instructor was by far my favorite of the three. She looked strict, but once the practice was underway, I could tell she had a sense of humor that the other two were lacking. Not that the other two were "mean"; they certainly enjoyed what they were doing and cared about doing the postures correctly. This third instructor, seemed kind. She conveyed an understanding that some postures need to be "worked up to", and she actually found a way to interject a few gems of yogic philosophy here and there. But there is still a rigidity to the sequence that must not be altered. You know, I'd bet she would be a great Hatha teacher. I was able to complete the practice. When I felt dizzy or lightheaded, I didn't push myself this time, and I didn't feel guilty about it either - I didn't seem to be diminishing the experience of the die-hard Bikram devotees in the room.

So, that's about it. Will there be a "part 4"? Well, I'm not writing it off, just like I wouldn't write-off a spin on the elliptical. Bikram is still a good workout, and if I am looking to take a yoga class, and this is the most convenient one, I'll do it. 90 minutes is a lot of time to spend on myself, though, so I can't envision these classes being "the most convenient" very often. But, "never say never"...

May the light that shines in every dimension of life inspire and guide our inner vision throughout the year ahead - paraphrased from the Gayatri mantra